


Breaking Bismuth

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bismuth is crazy, Episode: s03e24 Bismuth, Gen, Minor Grief/Mourning, Post-Episode: s03e24 Bismuth, Regret, Self-Defense, Self-Loathing, Shattering - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 14:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bismuth is dead, and though a victory is a victory, it still doesn't feel right.





	Breaking Bismuth

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody knows if the title is a Breaking Bad ref, or just a Breaking Point ref haha.

                         _You shouldn't kill unless you have to Steven, but don't risk your own safety trying to be merciful.."_

Those were the first words Garnet told him after he witnessed her shattering a Corrupted gem. She didn't seem to shaken up about it, just acted like it was something that had to be done. And Steven didn't think too much about it. Though, however, the one thing he did know was that he didn't consider himself a pacifist. But the thought of killing didn't really sound **_that nice._**

That was all about killing that he thought about. The gems didn't kill if they had to, but they also didn't go out of their way to spare the enemy. But killing was nearly a rare thing; he only saw about one kill per gem in his lifetime. The gems, however having this mentality, they refused to kill humans.

That's one thing that would really mess him up, seeing all the blood left behind. He was glad they had a rule against that.

Now on the case of Peridot. He was almost sure Garnet would kill her that night. She had been so angry at her for kidnapping him. Pearl had been scared. And Amethyst...she was practically both. When Garnet grabbed hold of her gem, after poofing her, he could tell she wanted to. But she didn't because she knew shattering the enemy that they've just defeated was wrong.

 _Don't kill unless you have to, Steven._ She'd be betraying her own teachings. Garnet just simply put it in a bubble and left it at that. With a small resentment towards the gem for possibly hurting him. Sometimes, they could be a little _overprotective_. Steven's pretty sure Garnet hasn't forgiven Peridot for that.

Now, he was able to save Peridot. After that, he thought he could save every enemy.

But then there was Bismuth. She wasn't his enemy. At first...

There was nothing weird about her. She was a little... more extreme about the views of shattering than anybody else. But she was cool, and a proper Crystal Gem. He actually looked up to her for the short time she was around. And she liked him, too. They'd become family so fast. _Faster than Peridot._ Why should he be scared of her?

But then things just... tore apart at the seams.

 _"Harming the body,"_ She held his mother's sword up the air and gave it a swing, "but _never_ the gem."

It sounded odd, her saying that. He knew his mother wasn't pacifistic. But he didn't know why she'd use such a pacifistic weapon.

"Why is that?" He smiled, "Was she a pacifist?"

It was supposed to have been a _joke_. He wasn't expecting a serious answer.

But....

"She was."

But he got one anyway.

"What---" He stood there, frozen, he didn't know what to think, "The gems. They shatter other gems....they... surely they'd listen to mom, right?"

Bismuth laughed, "That's because they have some sense. Pacifism is a very flawed view, young one."

"Did you and the others ever shatter behind Rose's back?"

She shook her head.

"We had too much respect for her then," She seemed a little cautious now, "Not that we still don't. She's just gone now."

He frowned. Bismuth perked up.

"Hey, just think about it... with her being gone it opens the doorway to somethin' great... come with me."

And so he did.

\--

"This is a true weapon, little quartz," Bismuth held up a strange device, "It was going to go to your mother. But she's gone now."

He observed it. It was one of the strangest things he's ever saw. But he smiled. "I'm very grateful but I don't know how to use it." Steven handed it back to her. She looked shocked for a moment, but warmly smiled back. Like she wasn't expecting him to say that, but she was pleased to hear it. "I can show you, you'll love it."

Steven blinked, uncertain.

\--

"You blasted Homeworld gems!" Bismuth yelled with rage, "You tear us apart and turn us into dust. You feed us to your diamonds and you foolishly bow to them like their gods. You are weak and nothing. You are worse than the dirt on the ground."

Steven knew she was getting a little extreme here. He didn't quite like it.... they were just stones, right? Not actual gems.

"I shall show you the true way out," Her lips curled into the biggest smirk he'd ever seen, "Think of me as the true _god_. I shall redeem you all by giving you the punishment you all deserve. No fifth shall reside on _my_ planet. In my universe."

Steven felt his heart sink into the ground.

"May your sins be forgiven," She laughed, "In the _afterlife_!"

With that, the stone mannequins all broke into pieces instantly. It left no time for, if that was a real gem, to beg for mercy. But Bismuth wouldn't show mercy anyways, would she? No she'd kill them. Even if... even if they were on her side. Steven couldn't allow that. Any disagreements between someone and her and it's death for the other person.

She was just too dangerous with that thing.

Bismuth handed it back to him, pleased with herself and expected him to feel the same. "Your turn, little quartz." She strapped it on him despite a little resistance on his part. He looked at it, and than her, horrified. He couldn't use it. It kill his enemies before saying a word, enemies that could become friends. He saved Peridot, couldn't he save others, too?

Was she expecting him to be like her? He couldn't, he just couldn't.

"This weapon is," He sighed, not wanting to say the words, "The breaking point is a very extreme weapon, Bismuth. Too extreme for me."

She scoffed and took it away roughly, "If you don't want it then you're not the kid I thought you were, I'm disappointed."

Bismuth started to strap it on to herself.

"But I'm not mad. I'll just use it myself."

He yanked it from her. With obvious signs of fear.

"You'll kill them before they have a chance for mercy or redemption," Steven yelled, throwing it on the ground, "Nobody deserves that fate. Nobody is using it." He looked to the much taller gem with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bismuth, but it's not right."

 She froze and stared unblinking at him. Obviously, she was shocked at his actions. Maybe more than he was.

Her fist slowly balled.

"That's exactly what she said," She said in a low and dangerous down, " _That damn pacifist."_

Steven started to sweat out of nervousness, "What?"

Bismuth growled, loud this time, "That's exactly what _you_ said."

"It is you, isn't it Rose?"

She took a step forward, and he took one back.

"I'm...no I'm not Rose. I'm Steven... I-I... this is just a misunderstanding...."

 _"Don't fucking lie to me._ Not after you lied about this new form. Not after you lied to the others about me."

She lifted her hand as it formed into a hammer, "I didn't just disappear did I, Rose? You knew what happened to me. But you lied. You lie about everything!"

When she try to strike it with him, he manage to avoid it. But it was too close for comfort.

"And all that talk about becoming your own gem and being free. That's all it was, right? Just talk!" Steven ran behind one of the stone figures, just before Bismuth cut though it easily. He nearly fell over into the lava next to him. But managed to avoid it, just barely. "Stop it, please. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, as I don't want to hurt you!"

Despite his pleas, she shook her head furiously and and attacked him again with her blade hand. Steven formed his shield and it tried its hardest to hold up. But it was clearly not a match for her scythe-like hand as it tore right through it. Steven toppled over on the ground and burnt his hands, he didn't have time to cry out before she threw another and attack. He jumped up and floated to avoid it, but his sandal wasn't so lucky and burned in the lava. He whined at that.

"The breaking point would've changed everything," She break one of her stone figures from the ground, "I would've taken the war to Homeworld and shattered the diamonds!"

Bismuth held it over her head, "I would've liberated..." She threw it at him, " _Everyone_!"

It threw him into the wall with much pain following. Bismuth didn't throw another attack, she only looked sadly at her weapon.

"We were all fools to believe you, trust you, and look up to you," He heard her say, "You played us like we were toys. But look where that got you. We've lost..."

"What type of leader can't give her army the best chance to win.." She sighed, "But it's all over now. And I'll fix it... I'll fix what you broke... Because look at what you've done without me... You valued the gems more than our own... and now their dead... and so will you be."

Bismuth looked towards the newly formed hole in the wall, "I really, really didn't want to fight you. But you left me no choice, did you? We were right here, freedom in my hands, and you just had to refuse..." Steven realized then, she had every intention of killing him. She was only waiting for him to make a move. And he would.

He pushed the figure off of himself, and with all his might, threw it at her.

"Watch out!" He yelled.

It hit her and groaned in pain, nearly falling over. Steven took the chance to grab the weapon and hold it near her. She looked at him, with hatred instead of kindness like she did when they first met. Oh, how he wished he could take it back now.

"This has to stop," He said, frowning at her fiery rage clearly shown in her eyes.

"So what are you gonna do?" She pointed the tip towards her gem, "Shatter me? You should've already done it back then, Rose, you shouldn't have bubbled me away without telling your friends... my friends... You shouldn't have shown how little I mattered to you... Why didn't you just tell them?"

Steven let a few tears escape, "I will tell them. Everything. Let's just stop this, okay?"

Bismuth's grip on the weapon's tip became stronger, "Liar, you say that like you're better than her. But you're not, are you?"

Her eyes became dark, "If you weren't her...and really someone else... why aren't you like us? Why are you so... _pacifistic_?"

She laughed, "Go ahead, shatter me. Show me you are not her. Prove it to me, and in turn, prove it to them"

Steven felt ill being in this situation, "No... I can't... you don't deserve it... nobody does like this."

With his refusal, she growled and fully rose up before him with a hammer-like hand. She was going to crush him.

Steven, instantly, grabbed the breaking point. It was the nearest weapon. And he...he defended himself. He used it on her. She looked surprised, for the last second she was alive. Then she smiled, before falling into pieces on the floor.

He looked horrified. _He had actually done it._ His first kill and it was one of his own.

How could he be better than his mother? He was... a killer. He just killed someone his family just got back. Someone they loved.

He had won this battle, but had lost it all the same, slowly picking up the pieces he looked towards the breaking point with emptiness filling his gut. _It's all my fault,_ he thought with tears, _I'm sorry Bismuth.... I'm sorry... mother..._

Why he apologized to his mother he didn't know. But what he did know, was that he could no longer be considered a Crystal Gem. Not after killing one.

The walk back home, was not one he was looking forward to. Tossing the weapon into the lava, he grabbed his mother's sword and limped back home with a feeling of guilt and loss. Also, one burnt foot. He would've preferred no feet if it meant not seeing the gem's faces again. But he had to tell them.

\--

 When the sound of the warp pad rolled in, Steven never felt so sick in his life.

"Steven," Pearl's kind, greeting face turned into pure horror, "What...what did you..?"

Garnet also turned around in that instant, having the same face of horror, "Is that...?"

"Bismuth?" Amethyst finished, also looking horrified. Steven looked up at them, nearly breaking down. "There's something I have to tell you and it starts with I'm sorry." He handed the bubble over to Garnet. "I...I... me and Bismuth were talking about mom and..." He closed his eyes, unwilling to meet their stare, "And then she brought up mom's pacifism and then her sword. She showed me this... other... weapon and it was called the breaking point."

He sat down on the warp pad, knowing the thoughts going through their heads, "When she used it.... she was like another person. It was like she saw herself as a god. She showed no mercy and the weapon allowed no mercy. It would've killed many and it would've killed quickly. It would give no time for someone to beg for the life... and it would give no time for someone to be redeemed..."

"I didn't want to use it. And I couldn't let her use it," Steven breathed in, "She got really mad and accused me of being Rose. I tried to tell her the truth but she wouldn't listen. Apparently, mom shared the same views as I and refused to use it and they got into a fight. Mother poofed her and left her in lion without telling any of you... which is why she refused to believe me... she kept on calling me a liar and attacking me... blaming me for the war we lost... she said that if I had let her use the breaking point, she would've... liberated everyone... it was too much..."

He began to cry again, "She said I valued the gems of our enemies more than our own and stuff like that. She said so many things and... I got her to a point where we were just talking... but she insisted on me shattering her to prove I wasn't... I wasn't Rose." All he could do was just breathe, "I refused again but she...she was going to kill me so I used the nearest weapon and...."

"And this happened, I'm sorry. I...I killed her.. I killed one of our own...:"

He finally opened his eyes to crying faces as they just stared at the shards and not him.

"I'm sorry--"

"That's enough," Garnet shushed him, her eyes not leaving the shard, "I'm going to...put this somewhere safe...."

As she walked passed him without saying a word. Steven truly felt alone.. Nobody would look at him and nobody would touch him... they just all followed their leader to honor the shards of their fallen comrade. The comrade he killed.

\--

It been hours after that. Steven sat with his hands feet still stinging on the porch. Attempting to enjoy the surprisingly cool summer night.

The stars didn't shine that night, why would they? He was a murder and didn't deserve to see them. He couldn't be considered a Crystal Gem anymore, he was just that, a murder. The stars would never shine for him again. The thought of so many ways he could have avoided her death... he could've grabbed the sword, it was right near him. He could've avoided the attack, it was easy.

But no, he killed her. Now things would never be the same. The gems wouldn't care for him now.

He couldn't stay here, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Steven heard the door open, his breath hitched.

"Steven?" Garnet's quiet voiced called for him, she joined his side, "Are you okay?"

He lowered his head, "I'm a murder...."

"Nonsense," She said at his quiet reply, "You are Steven. You would never harm someone if you didn't have to."

"But I killed someone you loved--"

"No, no you didn't. What happened their wasn't your doing, alright? What happen before then, was your doing either. Rose's mistakes aren't your mistakes."

She stared up to the stars with a hint of sadness, "Bismuth dug her own grave, there's nothing you could've done. I told you to not kill if you didn't have to and..."

Pearl stepped on the other side of him, "And you had to. No matter how painful it was."

Steven stared up to Pearl's face.

"You two were very close. I can tell you loved her."

"But I also love you," She smiled motherly, "And if she had hurt you...."

"I would've turned her into dust."

They both looked up to Garnet, speechless.

"She had the nerve to try to kill you, " It took them a second to realize she was crying, "I wasn't there to protect you.... you could've..."

"We're sorry," Amethyst chimed in, "We're your guardians and yet we failed to protect you. Now you have to carry this guilt for the rest of your life."

Pearl pulled him into a hug, Garnet joining with Amethyst.

"We're all to blame, not you," Pearl whispered, "Never you."

Steven got the glimpse of a singular star.

_But yet, it still doesn't feel right._

He cried in the arms of his guardians, knowing there was no normal anymore.

There never could be.

And the star faded. Leaving him with no hope and a sign for a dark future.

At least, that's what he brought himself to think, he didn't really know. All he did know was that it was over. He would never have to face Bismuth again. But he would have to face is mother's mistakes, again. His suffering was far from over.

Sometimes, all he could think was how easier it would be if he wasn't born. But then he saw his family, then he knew.

He would have to stick around for awhile.

Even if he really didn't want to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I made Bismuth way more extreme here. Like cult leader extreme. But I had to because Steven isn't a pacifist here and he really needed a reason to kinda...? Not accept her gift or allow her to use it? And for her to attack him.
> 
> Also, the gems, they didn't believe in shattering. But then Pink Diamond got "shattered" by Rose Quartz and they basically then thought it was okay. SO I guess that explains that.


End file.
